FAQ (and not so FAQ)

Adult entertainment

Most recent update: January 4, 2006

1.) Is it easy to get laid here?
2.) What about non-working girls?
3.) Okay, I'm game, what's the deal on getting laid?
4.) Will my hotel let me bring my new friend back to my room?
5.) Isn't the HIV infection rate really high in Cambodia?
6.) Okay, I will use a condom. Are there decent ones available in Cambodia?
7.) What's the gay scene?
8.) I know this guy, and he's a pedophile, what can I do?
9.) All this info is great if you're guy, but I'm a woman and I'd like a shag, any advice?

Q: Is it easy to get laid here?

A: Absolutely, but you're probably going to pay for it. For better or for worse as it depends on your perspective, Cambodia has quite a prostitution industry.

Q: What about non-working girls?

A: If you're referring to a one-nighter without any strings attached or money exchanged, you can almost forget about it. Cambodia is a very conservative country and few Khmer girls will give up their virginity before marriage. However, once that virginity is lost, regrettably a Khmer girl is, in the eyes of her own society, soiled, so she might now be game. But that means, as I said in the first answer - you're probably going to pay for it.

If you're looking for a relationship with a local girl, that's a whole other deal and way beyond the scope of this FAQ file because you're going to have to spend a bit of time here and get yourself immersed into a culture you probably still know little about, and that lack of experience will be made all the more clear if you start getting into the relationship game. Don't run blindly down that path, but don't necessarily avoid it, either. Just go carefully. All too often it's the local girl and not the western guy who suffers when the relationship fails.

The Khmer440 website carries an interesting piece in their archives on the subject of "grey girls" which sheds a little light on the type of situation many girls find themselves in as well as the blurred lines between what is and isn't prostitution as many westerners see it. The story starts here and then you'll have to play around with the navigation to find the rest or scroll to the bottom of this page for the full contents.

Q: Okay, I'm game, what's the deal on getting laid?

A: A detailed answer is also beyond the scope of this website (some kind of useful section this is, huh?). It's largely a choice of cheap brothels - often masquerading as massage parlors, or a free-lancer pick-up joint, which can be any number of foreign-owned (usually) establishments. Phnom Penh has many of the latter, where girls with no direct affiliatiation with the place hang around the bar (or dance floor or wherever) with the primary goal of getting you (or someone) to take them out for the night and pay them $20 in the morning. Some establishments don't have so many floorwalkers but the staff themselves might be on the game, though in some cases, and certainly the floorwalkers are not to be left out of this category either, the girls are ultimately looking for more than one night - the mythic knight in shining armor? Now don't kid yourself, said fantasy is precisely that, but plenty of successful relationships have started in a bar (and a lot more unsuccessful ones, too). And keep in mind we're dealing with human beings and you can't broadly categorize them all in one fell swoop, though many of the Vietnamese girls do seem to lend themselves to such generalizing, whether it's warranted or not.

Siem Reap, is with the exception of one western-owned bar and three Khmer-owned nightclubs, the domain of numerous cheap Vietnamese knock shops, usually designated as "777 massage" or "88 massage" or "333 massage". Why none have come up with "69 massage" is one of life's greater mysteries.

If you want more detailed answers you might try this website: http://www.se-asiaboard.com/

Q: Will my hotel let me bring my new friend back to my room?

A: That depends on the hotel or guesthouse. Some of the four and five-star hotels will not permit you to bring home a companion nor will a handful of the budget backpacker-oriented guesthouses. Everything in between will likely pose no problems for you. If you're staying in your basic $10-15 room with A/C, TV, etc. the chances are quite good that guests will be permitted. Just confirm this before you check-in. However, non guest-friendly establishments are generally the exception, not the norm.

Q: Isn't the HIV infection rate really high in Cambodia?

A: In Cambodia in the commercial sex trade the HIV infection rate is probably as high here as it is anywhere in the world. Yes, figures as high as 40% infected have been tossed around but while I can't disprove them, I'm not sure I believe them either. Who are they testing? Freelancers? Trafficked sex workers in the local 5000-riel brothels? A legitimate cross section of girls that covers all sectors of the industry? Who? I wouldn't be too surprised if the 40% figure was applicable to girls working in the sleaziest 5000-riel brothels, but that's only one segment of the total prostitute population. In the freelance segment I would expect the figure is lower as the girls can demand condom use if they are so inclined and are not forced to take any customer they don't want. Frankly, I don't think anybody really knows what the true figure is, but whatever it is, it's high enough to be concerned about. HIV is absolutely positively a reality here, and while I'm skeptical of any hard numbers offered, I stand by my original statement - IN CAMBODIA IN THE COMMERCIAL SEX TRADE THE HIV INFECTION RATE IS PROBABLY AS HIGH HERE AS IT IS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, so if you're going to indulge, USE A CONDOM!!!!!!

Q: Okay, I will use a condom. Are there decent ones available in Cambodia?

A: Yes, there are. Two international brands, Trojan and Durex, are available here and either one is recommended. They are both high quality products and few people would have a problem with the size, especially with Trojan brand. Cost for a three pack is around $1.00 to $1.50. Twelve packs of Trojans run from between $3.50 and $4.50. They are sold at supermarkets and convenience stores everywhere.

The locally produced brand is Number One and are available everywhere and their billboards, promoting AIDS awareness, family planning, etc, are all over the country and often a hoot to look at. Historically, this brand has been problematic in respect to leakage or breakage, and more than a few folks have reported uncomfortable allergic reactions. In their defense, the quality has improved a lot in recent years, but still, there are Trojans about.

There are other Asian brands floating around, but in general, Asian produced condoms tend to be too small for westerners.

Q: What's the gay scene?

A: I guess this answer depends on how one defines "gay scene", no offense intended to anyone gay reading this, but I quite frankly haven't figured out just what exactly is a gay "scene" - really, I'm serious, enlighten me - what is it? Male bonding with a twist? A way to hook up and do the deed? Just a desire to hang out with folks with whom you obviously have something in common with? Anyway, I digress. Cambodia is a very conservative country and homosexuality is not something that is out in the open just yet but things appear to be changing.

Siem Reap has one openly gay-friendly bar, the Linga Bar, which in the words of the owner, "your grandmother would feel comfortable here," and hopefully with the assumption that my grandmother isn't gay. It's a chilled place and on some nights the straight customers outnumber the gay ones. Good location a half block from Siem Reap's main bar strip. Siem Reap also has a gay friendly guesthouse, The Golden Banana, but like the Linga Bar, sometimes the straight customers outnumbe the gay ones.

I'm sure there's info on the web somewhere that could address this question better than I have, but I can at least say that if you're looking for a Cambodian version of Pattaya's Boyz Town, you're out of luck.

Q: I know this guy, and he's a pedophile, what can I do?

A: Contrary to what some would believe, there is not a lot of tolerance for these creeps and even some guys who practically made Svay Pak their second home would like nothing better than to get all the pedos out of here.

So what can you do? You could beat him up. You wouldn't be the first nor would you be the last to do so. I know a couple of expats who have thrown punches at pedophiles. Other than beating him up, if you have proof, drop a dime with the police.

However, do be careful before jumping to conclusions and you go reporting somebody as a pedo, beating him up, or just giving him an earful. There are many men here with Asian daughters, relatives, etc. and if you were to see a 40-year-old-man out in public holding hands with an 11-year-old Asian girl, I would be 95-99% sure that she is either his daughter (natural or adopted), his wife or girlfriend's daughter from a previous relationship, or part of any other innocent scenario. While pedophilia is rampant, it is also illegal and not something offenders are going to flaunt. They may be many things, but stupid is not necessarily one of them. Pedophilia is not something you see, it's a behind-closed-doors crime.

If you were back home in whatever country it is you came from and you saw a 40-year-old man walking down the street with an eleven-year-old, would you assume it's a pedophile and a victim? No, you'd probably assume it was the guy's daughter if it even registered in your mind as something you needed to notice and draw a conclusion! So why are your noticing in Asia and making the assumption there is something wrong?

Also, please be careful before you go to the police, an NGO, start rumors and gossip, or in any way associate someone with pedophilia. As time goes by this is becoming more and more a sensitive issue here and it is not something you want to make a mistake about nor provide an opportunity for police to extract large sums of cash from someone who is in fact innocent. Innocent people have really had their lives disrupted due to false allegations, rumors, and so forth. While we'd all like to see the pedophilia problem taken care of, please, do not jump to conclusions!

Q: All this info is great if you're guy, but I'm a woman and I'd like a shag, any advice?

A: Motodops (motorcycle taxi drivers) love to brag about doing it with their female customers, especially with the Japanese and Korean girls. In truth, as with guys worldwide, the reality is probably far less than the talk, but as I'm neither a motodriver nor a female Japanese tourist I really have no idea what the truth is. Still, if you really hit it off with your motodop he might be game for a roll in the sack. But as Cambodia is a conservative society, most of these guys are likely to be far too polite ever to suggest it without some encouragement on your part.

That said, if you have no interest in shagging your motodop, and you probably don't, please don't let this scare you into thinking you should be afraid of your driver. It's a rare occasion that one of these guys is going to molest you or even make a suggestion of sex without a lot of obvious encouragement on your part.

I also know of at least one instance of a woman claiming, and I see no reason why this wouldn't be true, of paying her motodop for sex. So I suppose that's an option as well. Guys are paying for it all the time here, why not women?

If it's other westerners you're interested in, than you don't need me to give you advice, but I can offer the following: While Bangkok can be a lonely place for a single western woman (expatriate that is, not tourist on Khao San Road/Koh Phangan, etc), where unless she can be "one of the guys" she'll find little attention from western males of any sort, Phnom Penh is not like that. Due to the combination of a more conservative society and a lot of NGO workers who do not socially mix with locals in this manner, western women generally enjoy a much better social life in Cambodia (and I'm not just referring to sex) than in Thailand.

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